Saturday night. Two half naked people are standing in the kitchen.
Who are they , you think ?
Me and my boo ( apparently, that’s what you call your significant other these days. I googled it. Found out that Michelle calls Barak her boo. Hey, If it’s okay for him, it’s okay for me. )
Anyway, me and my boo were having one of those rare but special moments.
It was arounf 11 pm. We were in the kitchen having our multivitamins. He thinks that it’s his mission in life to feed the poor indian ( me ) so that she doesn’t die of anemia.
Well, I think it’s sweet that he does that. Also, I am a poor Indian.
It was dark. We did not switch on the lights. I could see the moon from the kitchen window. It’s bright and beautiful. Just like my boo.
He hugged me tight. And whispered into my ears ” Babe, I can’t see you. ”
I know, I know. You were hoping that he said something romantic like I love you or I am beautiful or something. NOPE. I am lucky, but not Chrissy Teigen lucky.
Jonh Legend writes songs for his boo. My boo tells me to listen to the SnoopDog song.
Naturally, I had no response. Mainly, because it is not the first time I am hearing this.
Secondly, because I know for sure that he cannot see me.
On the other hand, I can see him perfectly. I can see the moonlight bouncing off his body. Damn, he’s hot !
Perks of being brown, I guess.
This brings us to my new topic called ” Brown- Hot or NOT ?”
I am a classy brown lady ( morena ), who says the word ‘fuck’ a lot.
I have heard plenty of comments everyday from people about my skin colour. Some people want my shade of brown, others want to rub it off my skin.
Location 1 : Spain
Spanish people have treated me and my brown ass with respect and love. They find me amusing. Can I blame them ? My awesomeness is always amusing.
I have travelled my tiny share in Spain. People in small villages in Galicia has stared at me like a Geisha. I thought there was something wrong with me. Later, I found out that they have never seen a brown girl like me. Intersting.
I wish I could go back to my teenage self with the braces and tell her that it’s all gonna be okay and that I would be slightly less ugly when I grow up.
Often I mean people who wants to be tan like me. It ain’t tan, biatch. It’s my skin tone.
Once in a while I come across people who ask me if I get sunburned or if I get tan.
To those people I say , Yes. Here are the Pantone shades of brown, just in case.
I can also vaguely rememeber a Polish guy telling me that I have the colour of olives. Not even close, bro. But then, what do Polish people know about olives ?
Location 2 : India
Ironically, if you are brown, India is the last place you should visit.
In Curryland ( I can say that coz I am an Indian, you can’t. Bwahahaha ), if you ain’t white, you ain’t right. And nothing boils my blood more than classifying people on the basis of the ‘right’ shade of brown.
The notion of white skin preference is injected to our brains when we are kids. We are taught to stay away from the sun, not to play outside during the day coz again, who would marry a brown chick ?
And, then comes the never ending brown jokes and “helpful advice ”
a) Are you gonna get a tattoo ? But, why ? You won’t be able to see it on your skin.
b) Who turned the lights off ? I can’t see you anymore. Where are you ?
c) Use “fair and lovely” whitening cream. It helps.
d) You have such great attributes for a brown person !
e) Who will ever marry you ?
f) Have you tried skin peeling ?
g) If we stand together we will look like black and white, get it ? Get it ?
h) Stop drinking tea ! It makes you even darker than you already are.
i) You are beautiful for a brown girl.
j) You are so brown but your mom is white. That is kind of unfair, isn’t it ?
Oh my god. Stop. Just stop.
I have no intention of peeling my skin or bathing in milk.
Neither do I think that my colour is a problem. So, chillax, bruh !
In short, I am a geisha in Spain and a witch in India.
Can we evolve as better human beings and not judge people by their colour ?
Can we just be nice to each other and stop judging each other when we ourselves are a country full of brown people ?
I do not know if I am hot or not, but hey, noone can beat me at being the sweetest brown girl who says ‘fuck’ a lot. And I’d rather be intelligent than beautiful, any given day.
What do you think ? Brown chicks, hot or not ?