Hello fellow human beings,
I know what you might be thinking. What is beautiful Miss. Morena doing in tinder ? Needed some action in her life or was it boredom ? The answer is “neither”. It just took a depressing date with a sexy blonde Italian guy and an amazing advice from my dear flatmate to join Tinder. Apparently, all the cool kids are doing it. So I said, sure and jumped right in.
Tinder is great. Looking at sexy men all day and swiping them left gives you a satisfaction that you thought you couldn’t possibly get by sitting at home and watching the rerun of ” House” in spanish. The only downside to swiping left : Finger cramps.
What amazed me most in tinder is how men think flirting works. Here are some unique caballeros i talked to in my short 2 months in tinder.
Caballero 1 ( veterinarian, handsome and likes motorcycles. I could just imagine us riding into the sunset on that motorbike. But then, he parted those amazing lips and said the 1st sentence) : ” Hey honey, do you live alone or with flatmates ? “
Me : …….. ( Sunset gone. Motorbikes gone. Just cactus remains by the highway where my body is buried after he chopped it up into a hundred pieces ).
Caballero 2 ( Data analyst, handsome, loves beaches, golf and football): “Do you have a pool ?”
Me : Yes. But, how is that relevant to you ?
Him : Summer is here. ( Adios, Guy 2 )
Caballero 3 (business analyst, loves travelling ): You are beautiful.
Me: Thank you. That’s nice of you.
Him : Send me some hot pictures.
Me : (Contemplates sending pictures of my hot stove top.) *Unmatch*.
Caballero 4 : ( works in amazon, loves animals ) : I am going to Vigo tomorrow and won’t be back until friday. Can I meet you today ?
Me : No, sorry. I am having dinner with my friends. Maybe some other day !
Him: It doesn’t matter. Meet me now. I will come pick you up.
Me : Nope. Not possible. I am busy now. Please try to understand
Him: “Soy muy cabezota“. I don’t care. Meet me today.
I could hear my inner voice saying ” Block him now”. *blocked*
These are the polite conversations I could share with you guys. Typical messages received are from couples looking for threesome where ” we always wanted to do it with a morena” or ” want someone to perform BDSM “. Well, at least people are having fun !
And don’t get me wrong, people. Not all guys in tinder are desperate or creepy. I have also met some amazing people in tinder. Polite, generous, handsome and kind gentlemen who are respectful ( and not creepy). I am still friends with some while one ended up breaking my heart. But, hey, that’s how life works. I have no regrets. I deleted tinder a month ago to get back to dating the way my parents did – meeting in a park while i read books and he walks the dog. Atleast, that would be cooler.
Next time when your friend suggests you to join tinder, read this again before jumping on board.