I confess : I use tinder.


Hello fellow human beings,

I know what you might be thinking. What is beautiful Miss. Morena doing in tinder ? Needed some action in her life or was it boredom ? The answer is “neither”. It just took a depressing date with a sexy blonde Italian guy and an amazing advice from my dear flatmate to join Tinder. Apparently, all the cool kids are doing it. So I said, sure and jumped right in.

Tinder is great. Looking at sexy men all day and swiping them left gives you a satisfaction that you thought you couldn’t possibly get by sitting at home and watching the rerun of ” House” in spanish. The only downside to swiping left : Finger cramps.

What amazed me most in tinder is how men think flirting works. Here are some unique caballeros i talked to in my short 2 months in tinder.

Caballero 1 ( veterinarian, handsome and likes motorcycles. I could just imagine us riding into the sunset on that motorbike. But then, he parted those amazing lips and said the 1st sentence)  : ” Hey honey, do you live alone or with flatmates ? “

Me :  ……..  ( Sunset gone. Motorbikes gone. Just cactus remains by the highway where my body is buried after he chopped it up into a hundred pieces ).

Caballero 2 ( Data analyst, handsome, loves beaches, golf and football):  “Do you have a pool ?”

Me : Yes. But, how is that relevant to you ?

Him : Summer is here. ( Adios, Guy 2 )

Caballero 3 (business analyst, loves travelling ): You are beautiful.

Me: Thank you. That’s nice of you.

Him : Send me some hot pictures.

Me : (Contemplates sending pictures of my hot stove top.) *Unmatch*.

Caballero 4 : ( works in amazon, loves animals ) : I am going to Vigo tomorrow and won’t  be back until friday. Can I meet you today ?

Me : No, sorry. I am having dinner with my friends. Maybe some other day !

Him: It doesn’t matter. Meet me now. I will come pick you up.

Me : Nope. Not possible. I am busy now.  Please try to understand

Him: “Soy muy cabezota“. I don’t care. Meet me today.

I could hear my inner voice saying ” Block him now”. *blocked*

These are the polite conversations I could share with you guys. Typical messages received are from couples looking for threesome where ” we always wanted to do it with a morena” or ” want someone to perform BDSM “. Well, at least people are having fun !

Tinder

Tinder: The magical place where love happens. For all i know he is telling her to go with him to his sound proof basement where no one can hear her scream. But hey, I am just guessing.

And don’t get me wrong, people. Not all guys in tinder are desperate or creepy. I have also met some amazing people in tinder. Polite, generous, handsome and kind gentlemen who are respectful ( and not creepy). I am still friends with some while one ended up breaking my heart. But, hey, that’s how life works. I have no regrets. I deleted tinder a month ago to get back to dating the way my parents did – meeting in a park while i read books and he walks the dog. Atleast, that would be cooler.

Next time when your friend suggests you to join tinder, read this again before jumping on board.

Un beso,

Morena

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s